It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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