i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
