we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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