Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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