I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
