i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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