Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
pray to the hookup gods
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
