What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
