Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
