just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
