my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
