Quick, to the slutcave!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
