Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
