One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
