oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
