Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
