This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
