like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
