Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
