I just cut my nipple shaving
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
