went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
