My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
