Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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