never play flip cup with pint glasses
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
