No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
