I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
