yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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