That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
