mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
