You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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