what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
