my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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