AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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