ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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