i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
