Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
