i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
