Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
