Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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