Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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