Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
