Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
