she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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