Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
