i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
