Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize