You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
