I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
