if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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