It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize