YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
