their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
