I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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