Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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