I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
