if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
