Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
