I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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