is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
