Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
