Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
