is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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