I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Come see our sink grown plant.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
